Commercial Street

I live in a place which is a bit far from the city. So normally for my day-to day shopping I go to nearby malls or at times a little far away malls. For the past couple of days due to marriage shopping, I started visiting Commercial Street. And God, I was really missing on so many things till now. The place is so full of all kinds of shops and is amazingly good for accessories, handbags and lastly shoes, all kinds of shoes. Its somewhat like Sarojini Nagar, Delhi but at the same time has good brands also. You can go from one street to another and there is always something new to explore. At times it is crowded but I can excuse that for the advantages it offers.

I do recommend this place to all girl friends who visit Bangalore.

Happiness is when you think about yesterday and a smiles tickles down on your face remembering the moments you experienced yesterday.

Oh yeah, I experienced it.

If you are not comfortable at something and you just avoid that something by making an excuse so that you are not the part of it......

I wonder how right or wrong it is........

Ref. – IIT Delhi student Pragati was killed by her boyfriend in Shimla when they went together during mid-term break – This girl was a junior of mine

I was shocked to read it and couldn’t concentrate on anything after this. Somehow her face kept coming back to me.
Was this murder a price that she paid for trusting the wrong guy?
Or was it the price for not having the ability to know someone?
Or was it the price that she was innocent enough to recognize some?
Or was it the price that too soon (m not sure here as to how soon) she went alone with the guy?

I don’t know the answers. Being 20-21 is matured enough. But only when we apply our maturity granted brains in our life.
It ok to be blind in love but only when you know the other person well enough and can trust him/her.

I am in a business where the action takes place in the very remote locations around the globe. It’s the huge refineries, rigs, drills etc which carry the charm of this business. Sitting here in Bangalore doing technical consultancy is only a support to this business and hence comes the natural urge to go to fields, see the work I am doing in real action.
Anyway that was just a background for what I want to say. I have been in the past 6-7 months asked the question w.r.t. my mobility towards travel. I have always expressed myself as mobile without constraints. And then comes the next question as to what are my marriage plans because definitely that in their opinion will restrict me.

I don’t have any definite answer to the last one. But I do have a dilemma!!
Is it being a female engineer that post marriage life is taken as an obstacle to frequent or long travel?
Or is it being a female engineer in India?
Or does the same questions goes to my male colleagues too?

Yesterday I came across something which made me felt a lot bad about a part of my personality of which I was very proud earlier.
And that feeling didn’t went away the other day and ruined my day at work and sleep at night.

Is it right to feel so bad due to just one such bad instance and forget all good which you feel about yourself and the praises that other people offered so often.
Or is it that you are just behaving as a HUMAN.

Is Technical Career the right thing to do in India?

I remember giving a mock interview for a consulting job to a friend of mine. She at the end bluntly said that every line of yours speaks for a technical or core job and not a consulting one. Yes she was right. My first choice was always a technical job. I was lucky that I got one and probably the highest paid technical job in India. Anyway money was that big an issue but work definitely was. I was glad that I will have a starting career in Oil and Gas Industry and who knows I might stick to it. I gave up going for further studies because I had heard a lot about Shell and wanted to give it a shot.

So what are the points against a technical career in India. First opportunities are few. NOCs don’t pay much and the work culture is not satisfying. You don’t get to exploit your skills to the maximum possible. That’s what I heard from my seniors. When I gave an interview for one of the NOCs they dug too much into technical details and I failed miserably. When I sat for interview with Shell, they just interviewed a project of mine in technical round, something on which I had actually worked rather than just listened to in a lecture. On that project they asked question related to technical, responsibilities, interactions with site, behaviours etc. I was more than impressed and glad to join Shell.

And next, Technical jobs are not always that lucrative as a job in finance, consult or marketing. How many will understand that I work as a Utilities Technologist. I have to struggle to make my parents understand my work. It would have been much easier to relate if I was working for a luxury brand or involved in some work directly related to them.

Next I know many colleagues of mine who joined Shell after graduating from US or Europe. They earn nearly 2-3 times as me or probably even more. Anyway this fact runs round the market in India. We are a talented pool companies can get at lower rates so nothing restricted to technical jobs.

All I know despite all negativities about tech job in India is that I love this. I am comfortable doing it and can take challenges in it. The company I have joined opened its technology centre only 3.5 years ago in India. I feel it has many problems and a lot of unsatisfied graduates. But on the other hand there are vast opportunities to learn and work on, a lot to explore and a great culture. I want to be patient at the moment and see how this new year fulfils those goals of mine and to what extent.

You can be what you deserve, only one has to be proactive in finding the right path leading to it. A senior of mine from X consult. told once that he/she is glad or proud that she/he was part of some great project. I don’t want to say that. I want to be proud if being part of a great project, I made a significant impact or speed up my learning curve.

I recently attended a friend's marriage and did underwent through some realizations. We had three marriages in our group at work during 2-3 months. I felt an inner wave of nicety when these people gave their wedding invites. The first thing in mind was that how nice my parents would feel when they will go to invite their friends and relatives. At the marriage ceremony also, I didnt felt awkward at all this time. I could see myself there in future.
During my parents' 25th anniversary also I couldn’t stop getting senti on many things be it the ring ceremony we had for them which they never had at their wedding or the varmala once again. I could see the 25 years of their togetherness in their eyes.
So finally my mind has settled now to a large extent. It is not a lifelong commitment or marriage that I dread now. I want it someday for myself also at a time I will fully feel ready for doing it. I don’t want to do it for the sake of doing it but I want to do it in the best possible way at the best time with my complete willingness.
I always remember a phrase from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. that being in love means growing old together and I know now that it is worth every challenge and every fear.

I have finally started swimming after a long time, nearly 10 years I think. Though I remember few things, I have forgotten most. But I really enjoyed it a lot. It is one exercise which I love to do without getting bored.
Hope the spirit continues.

Mean corporate world!!

One thing which I have realised soon enough. Someone rightly said that it’s a dirty world out there once you decide to earn and live independently. Now I see examples daily. Somehow I have started liking not have too personal friends in the closest working zone of mine mainly my own team. I hate when people use sugar coated words in front of seniors or listen to whatever they say just to get into good terms with them. Where is the saying dudes that your work should speak for you. My whole mood gets pissed off here (this is what I encounetred this morning too).

It’s okay to chat or share drinks but yet I find it difficult not to be myself. If I am with my close friends I am not afraid to let out my thoughts which may be contrary to what she/he was saying. But in office, the same changes. I have to be careful because who knows what one can take personally and bring the grudge in official matters too. That is the one reason why I don’t want to indulge too personally with teammates.

The other thing that comes up is working with different age groups. I really like that but I do face some problems too. You will encounter colleagues of your parents’ age too. There are things that we refrain from in from of family elders. But what about in a work groups of ages between 23-50 or more. I don’t drink in front of my parents (bcoz I know they won’t like that). But what in such a group. I don’t want to face weird looks from elderly persons. Again that’s where I feel even more strongly that lets just be official.

I think it all needs time to adjust and define your behaviour. But no doubts life is not simple anymore.

A Happy New Year 2010

Another year has ended. Yet there was something different about it. First It was when I graduated as an engineer and second when I started my professional life. So in a way this is my first new year after being a professional. Being in college, I never thought about doing something on new year’s eve. Something used to turn by itself. But now you have to think. Yet this one was special and quiet one with great wine.
Three resolutions are at its peak:
1. Losing my extra fat. I really want to be regular here
2. Learning about my new discipline at work which is completely new for me.
3. Read and write whenever I get time

I hope I fulfil these two to the best.

Life is good when you have things to complete and promises to keep.

Today there was a farewell in my Team and to present a good luck gift, one of my colleagues invited a youngest person in the team to do the honours. And I was the one. In midst of all this growing up business, it feels superb to be the youngest in a certain group. You feel you still have the life others have lived in their times.

An important realization after 3 Idiots:

Hostel life can't be comapred to anything and has it's own charm. Gone are teh those days but will always be cherished.

There was a time few months back when I missed my friends a lot in Bangalore. I used to be occupied with office people and missed taht IIT life.
Well somehow that phase is over and I am in total love with my new life. I am independent and gradually learning to manage my life. From purchasing groceries for home to thinking every new way to make my place better to live, I am living it all. Work is good and challenging at times, very different from the academic scenario at college. The feel that I am gradually growing and turning old in my twenties is at its peak. The heart wants to be young always and full of enthu.
After saadi dill, Bangalore has finally taken my likes. The people are really good here despite language barrier at times. The weather rules here. I remember someone saying that its always cool under a tree in Bangalore is no doubt very true.
Working with people of different age groups, discovering friends in them is something I am doing for the first time in my life.
I keep discovering new ways to live my life so that boredom doesn’t creeps in.
The only thing that freaked me recently was the marriage of 2-3 colleagues of mine of comparable age as myself. But yeah everyone has his/her own perspective to discover their happiness.
One more thing that came in was the hard earned money. I took gifts for my family on recent visits home. The glow in their eyes was unbeatable to anything.
Finally it’s all good and great to live.............

I missed my college friends a lot today. Living a corporate life thrives its energy from the way you energize yourself on weekends. And for me its doing something different or trying something different. And that's where I miss my friends because here I still dont have that kinda group (except for one creepu bete) comprising of people on whom you can count for meeting up, having some fun, chatting around and so on. I do have friends in office but not what I expected.

I so sincerely wish that soon I am able to find such a group, new one here too. Because its too difficult for me to sit at home on weekends. Or I wish to find some good engagements apart from work where I can divert my mind to.

One thing that I am increasingly able to appreciate in B'lore is the way food is served here in restaurants. I visited a restaurant named RAKABDAR today for lunch. The ambiance was super and a particular waiter assigned to you takes proper care of you till you leave the place. And they don't look too interfering also at the same time and are very courteous. They will come occasionally to serve food and will serve in proper quantities. It was nice to witness.

I so hate this feeling when I feel terribly lonely.... When I dont know what I am missing in my life, when I loose my enthusiasm and spirit of life.

The only good part is that I know it is a matter of few moments only.

I have finally settled into this city, with a new house, flat mates, colleagues, specific job training started and so on. And to admit I have started liking this new life and also the surroundings where it is dwelling. It’s a lot different from college. I am independent in many senses and responsible for my own livelihood and that’s really a big thing. Working for five days and then trying to find ways to have good evenings after work and good weekends occupies a lot of my thoughts these days. The city is good in many ways especially the weather which is amazing. I can take a walk whenever I want during the day and it’s difficult to feel the sweat here. It is a crowded non metro and the traffic is mind blowing. It is different from Delhi but it is not hard to have a satisfying life here. My office is good and has a very open work culture which I like a lot.

Hope to have a lot of interesting memories here. Here I am to live and work Bangalore.

Hawa ke ek rukh ne zindagi hi badal di

Galti bhi to is dil ki hi thi

Ye ret ke mahal mein zindagi bitaane jo chala tha

Turning to the 23!!

In one word, its weird. I had my 23rd birthday some days back. I went home for 2 days with my cousins. My going ticket had 22 as my age and the return one had 23. I have lived 23 years of my life and I felt old. This b'day was not as usual ones. I was not very excited or not very expecting. Though my family gave me a surprise celebration at 12 midnight, my brothers me dirty with cake. I knew they were planning all this but then too I gave them the perfect “Oh I am so glad you did that” look :P. The next day I had a lot of home made food by dearest mom, dad gave a small party at night at a traditional rajasthani restaurant. I also witnessed a gazal nite there and had a song dedicated to me by lovable dad. I boarded my train back to delhi at around 2 am after all this. All of people I expected to wish, wished me. So all in all, it was nicer than I expected.

But then too, God I am 23 now. Its just this tag that dreads me and also the attitude of people around me. My parents feel that I am growing up and should be serious about life. They want to know what I am planning next, how long I want to do the job, what after it, after how many years will I marry someone. I have no data to fill in their answers. I am not thinking at all about it. A batch mate and few school friends got married this year, ohh that still freaks me out.

Anyway besides these, I feel more or less the same. I am still the same kid at heart. I still worry about meaningless things. I still love to live in my dreams. I have no whereabouts of future, I am all living in present. I still crave for dark chocolates and other related stuff. I still blindly believe in friendship turning to love and then into a long term companionship. I am focussed to the work I like and dream about making big in life someday. Shopping for clothes, footwear , accessories and hairdos still drive me crazy and never ends. I still can't stay at my home for too long. Database of newer novels is on steep increase, no hold here too. So more or less my faiths and likes are the same what they were 4-5 years back when I actually started framing my thoughts.

SO what it is that dreads me at 23. I guess its only the number and expectations of people around me to do certain things in certain manner for which i really dont feel ready at the moment.